Some general thoughts on adoption…

I've wanted to adopt for what feels like forever.  I remember hearing stories about many, many unwanted baby girls in China in the 1990’s (due to China’s one-child policy, most families seemed to prefer have a son).  I remember my young heart longing to take care of those girls as my own. 

I've traveled a bit –visited places in India, Nepal, Sierra Leone, where poverty is high and orphans are plentiful.  My heart continued to be broken for these “unwanted” children. 

Our time in Sierra Leone was particularly pivotal in this process – our experiences with children there solidified my desire to adopt from Africa. 

I've struggled with international adoption some, though.  It is such an expensive process – couldn't that money be better spent to care for the children in their own country?  Shouldn't we be supporting families in those countries to be able to care for their own children? 

I would say in general, yes we certainly should support efforts to keep children in their own country with their own family, but that also doesn't mean that it is "wrong" to pursue adoption as well.  There’s another adoption blogger who perhaps addresses this issue better than I could.  Her post is long, but it’s worth reading if this is an area of interest for you.  (Click here to read more) 

A couple general thoughts:

1.  Adoption is GOOD:  For those of us who are Christians, we have all been adopted into the family of God.  We are mandated over and over again to care for the widows and orphans.  Also, adoption brings a forever family to a child in need.  I can’t imagine a better investment than providing a loving home to a child.  

2.  International adoption is good: God’s family is diverse – he wants people there from every tribe, tongue, and nation.  I think it would be beautiful for our family to mirror this great big family of God on a small scale.  

3.  Orphans:  according to one source, there are an estimated 53 MILLION orphans in sub-Saharan Africa  Another source estimates 132 million orphans in sub-Saharan Africa, Asia, Latin America and the Caribbean (2005 stats).  That’s a lot of orphans!  Many of these countries do not have the financial or human resources to provide for all of these children.  Our daughter is one of these millions. 

4.   Costs:  Wow, adoption is expensive!  Rates for domestic newborn adoptions are on par with what it costs to adopt internationally (right around $30,000 for either, give or take $10,000!).   I don’t know many families who can pull together those kinds of funds from their personal resources very easily.

5.  Fundraising:  Well, since costs are so high, that’s where fundraising comes in.  It is hard and humbling to ask people for money.  It is a lot of work to apply for grants or to put together creative fundraisers, and then humbly ask people to participate.  I've thought at times:  “why would you choose to adopt if you can’t afford it?” Which is a good question in some ways!  However, we, like many families, have the resources to provide for a child (we can afford food, clothing, shelter, etc), but coming up with the initial investment for the adoption fees is a little overwhelming...   

6.  Extravagant grace:  our God is a gracious God, an extravagant God.  He owns the “cattle on a thousand hills.”  Children and orphans are close to his heart.  Ultimately, I feel like Keith and I are following his “calling” in pursuing this adoption.  Just as God poured out his extravagant grace on us, he is providing for us in crazy extravagant ways to be able to bring little B into our family.

Looking back on this post, I feel like this is a bunch of random ramblings… but if you've made it this far, thanks for sticking with me.  If you have any questions or want to dialogue on these issues more, please let me know (leave me a comment or something).  

With love and respect, 

lp

various updates

Hey, friends --
I've been a bad blogger recently...  I guess you could say that we've been busy (which would be true!), but I think I could have added a few little updates here and there.  so, anyway, here's our list of updates:

1. We accepted a referral for a little girl!  She's somewhere between 2 1/2 and 3 years old.  We'll call her "B" on here. We are hoping to go get her this spring.  

B's toes!
(We're not allowed to post real pictures of her until we pass court, so this will have to suffice for now!)

2. We completed our dossier (crazy packet of documents that will travel through the court system across the ocean), and filed the first of our forms with US immigration.

3. We are having a fundraiser this Saturday!  If you've been following the blog or my facebook page, you'll notice that I've been sewing quite a bit lately.  I'll have many of these items for sale on Saturday at our house, from 1-4.  Leave me a comment if you want more detail!

4. New "donate" button for the blog!  I finally have the ability to take donations and payments online -- if you  feel inclined to donate toward our adoption fund, click on the "donate" button to the right!  We have about half of what we'll need for this process, which is amazing! (but also means we still have quite a ways to go...).  If you've ordered owls or turtles, you can also use the donate button to pay for your purchases.

Well, that's about all for now!  thanks for following along!

(unofficial) good news!

This is all very unofficial, but we've been matched with a little girl!  We're so excited and overwhelmed.  We still have quite a bit of paperwork to gather, and about 7-12 months before we can go get her, but we're feeling really hopeful right now.  I wish I could share pictures!!

So, in the meantime, we have a good chunk of money to raise so we can bring our girl home.  I've been busy "owling" this weekend.  I've sold several -- 5 more and we have our application fees covered!  Here are some more pictures, to tempt you!  :-)

Here's the scoop!

I'm so happy about all the interest in the owls!

I'm asking for a $20 donation toward our adoption fund for each owl (2 for $35). Depending on how many orders I get and if I have supplies on hand,  I probably need a couple weeks turn-around time.   You can pick colors -- if I don't have the right color fabric on hand, I can get it, it just might take me a little longer.

So, if you want an owl, send me an email (lucybelle712 at yahoo.com or facebook message) letting me know:
1. how many you want,
2. what color(s) --if you like the ones in the pictures, I can pretty closely replicate those. I also currently have pink, brown, and teal fuzzy fabric for the bodies, and some fleece and flannels, too...and others to come!
3.  when you'd like to have it, so I can prioritize if you need one in time  for a baby shower or birthday or whatever.  
4. if you live in Columbus, we can arrange a delivery or way to meet up; if you need it shipped to you, send me your address.  

Checks can be made to me and all funds will go straight into our savings account for our upcoming adoption expenses.  I will email you with my address and any follow-up details.  Let me know if you have any questions!

Whoooo wants an owl??

Not much to report these days...just waiting!  We're hoping for a referral soon, but until then we just wait.

I had a long weekend this weekend -- took Friday off to add to my Labor Day Monday.  I think I would be much more productive in general if I had a 4-day weekend every week!   We took pictures of some of the nicer items left over from our yard sale and advertised them on craigslist this morning.  If you need a desk, dining table, weight equipment, a vintage salon hair dryer chair, a JOBOX, or a nice Ikea coffee table, let me know!  We'll make you a deal!  :-)

I also worked on gifts for 2 special little friends of mine.  I'm planning on selling these owl guys (well not these exact ones -- I will need to make more!).   $20 each and all proceeds will go to our adoption fund.  If you're interested, let me know! You or a little friend of yours needs one of these.  I know it's early to start thinking of the holidays, but these would be great Christmas gifts!

quick update

As of Friday, our homestudy has been officially approved!  YAY!!  

A while ago, Calvin decided to make a snack of our camera... bad dog... we bought a new camera with a gift card, and it's taken me a while to figure out how to download pictures.  I have it figured out now, so hopefully I will be a little better on the postings and photos and things.  

poor chewed camera

the viewing window was completely cracked

Here was what our garage looked like before the garage sale -- I wanted to share this a while ago!  It's hard to believe that this mess translated into over a thousand dollars toward our adoption fund :-)  We tel God tankee :-)

Waiting...

We had our list visit for our homestudy with our social worker over a month ago and have been waiting for our agency to review the documents.  We finally received the review today and they are making some updates and changes and then we can say our homestudy is officially complete!  This is a huge milestone in the process and we're so glad to have this much finished.

Once the homestudy is officially approved by our agency we will be applying for our immigration paperwork and waiting for them to refer a child (or maybe 2!) to us.  It still feels sort of surreal to me that this is really happening, that we're really moving forward.  I said something to a friend the other day about our "imaginary" children -- that's how it feels to me, like they don't really exist yet.  I can't wait for us to know them, and the reality of them.

*************
In the meantime, I've been doing some reading.  Some books I've found particularly interesting recently are:

The Connected Child

A Thousand Sisters

little by little...

We have had a car in our driveway for several months.  Some of you may have had the privilege of meeting Loretta (the Beretta), affectionately referred to as the “Deathtrap.”  She runs well, she just has a little rusty underbelly, meaning the gas tank isn’t well supported any more.  She's my in-laws’ car – they live in Florida, and it has been their Ohio car for the past few years.  They were gracious enough to let us use it last year, however we soon discovered Loretta’s  little rust problem and haven’t driven it much since—she’s been a driveway decoration. 

Last week, we had to pay $250 for an assessment for Keith for our adoption paperwork.  Although we have the money in savings for this, it was more than we were expecting to pay. 

Out of the blue yesterday, a gentleman stopped by our house and offer to buy Loretta.   We made a deal for the old girl that pretty much doubles the cost of the assessment. 

Little by little, item by item, the funds we need are appearing.  I’m keeping a list in my journal of all these things – from the $15 a lovely lady paid me last week for the scarf I was wearing, to the thousands sent by an old friend from college, to the extra classes Keith has been able to teach this spring.  We are blessed and thankful for God's provision! 

********

As an aside, my good friend will have a booth this weekend at the Worthington farmer’s market – for anyone local who is interested, she has some amazing stuff!   Here’s her website.   The event is called the Green on the Green, and takes place on the village green in downtown Worthington from 9-2 on Saturday, May 19.  For more info please go to  http://biggreenhead.com/green-on-the-green  or http://www.fourwindsintl.com/2012/05/find-four-winds-at-the-green-on-the-green-festival/.  

Come on out and purchase some great products that support fair trade and marginalized women and families around the world.  I will be selling some of my creations as well, and I’d love to see you there! 

Got stuff? Need stuff?

Hey, friends –

Do you have used clothing or other household items you’d like to unload?  Please consider donating them to the Padgett adoption fundraising cause!   There are 2 ways to help right now: 

 1.       I am working on some up-cycled sewing projects to sell to raise money for our adoption.  If you have clothes (or other fabric household items like gently used towels, curtains, etc.) that you want to get rid of, I’d be happy to take them off your hands!

 2.       We are also planning a yard sale at our house on Saturday June 16 (during the Clinton Estates community festival).  If you want to de-clutter your house and donate some stuff to our sale, please leave me a comment or send me a message on facebook or email me or send me some smoke signals or something and we’ll make arrangements to get stuff from you!  

Mark your calendars for June 16, too --  come out and enjoy our community festival and neighborhood garage sales!  We'll have some great stuff!  

  

blown away

I have sat down to write this post a few times now... I'm not sure the best way to describe all of this!  I think you may remember me bemoaning our upcoming tax bill in an earlier post.   I've been feeling pretty discouraged about money issues lately -- wondering where we will come up with the funds needed to bring this kid home.

I came home from work yesterday and found a note in the mail from a friend from college.  I don't think I've seen her since I graduated and we've only had some limited contact on facebook over the past 10 or so years.  All the same, I was really happy to hear from her - she wrote a really sweet note to us, encouraging us on our adoption (she and her husband have also adopted a few times from Africa).  and then I noticed the check.  She said that she and her husband had committed to giving away their adoption tax credit to families who are adopting, and they wanted to bless us with a portion of what they were giving away.  I broke down and cried when I saw the check -- it was enough to cover our homestudy expenses, and much of the initial costs with our agency!  nearly double what we owe on our taxes this year!  I was blown away.

My faith has been so small through all of this, but I'm reminded that God is bigger.  Through my faithful, generous friend, and through so many ways we have yet to see, I know he will provide.  I'm so excited to continue on this journey!

progress?

we had our first meeting with our social worker today.  it seemed to go pretty well, from what i could tell.  we have lots of paperwork to gather, but each meeting, each document is one step closer!  i love being able to check things off the list.  even though this seems like a huge long list, each check mark feels like a great accomplishment.

hard to imagine...

Our adoption agency recently sent us this, and I thought it was worth sharing...

Today there are more than 147 million orphans in the world, enough children to go three times around the world at the equator.

It is hard to grasp such large numbers, so picture being on a very long road trip.

…if you had these orphans hold hands in a line,  you would see over 1,700 orphans per mile;

…if you were to follow that line of orphans holding hands, driving 60 miles per hour, you could drive 24 hours a day seeing 1,700 orphans every mile, hour after hour, day after day, without stopping for over two months, and you would still see orphans holding hands.

(From Save our World magazine, Volume 50)

more thoughts on Kony 2012

There has been quite a bit of talk recently about the KONY 2012 project, both positive and negative.  Below are some good thoughts a friend of mine shared on facebook, along with a video, which helps us understand the larger picture.  Regardless of your thoughts on the KONY project and their tactics, it certainly is bringing quite a bit of attention to the tragic, heartbreaking situation in Uganda.  It's good for all of us to dig a little deeper into these things. 

You and I may or may not agree with Invisible Children's approach to the KONY project, but the fact remains that they are taking action where they see injustice.  I just hope that these actions bring help, not harm...and that we can all find ways to take action against atrocity.  

‎"What KONY 2012 doesn't find time to address in its dramatic 30 minutes is that the primary beneficiary of Invisible Children's call for U.S. military assistance and intervention is the oppressive Ugandan military and its general, President Yoweri Museveni. Museveni is, by most accounts, a brutal dictator who gets credit for, among other things, the following crimes against humanity:

1. Being the first in Uganda to normalize the strategy of kidnapping and forcefully conscripting thousands of children into armed combat and using rape as a weapon of war -- against both women and men.

2. The forced expulsion of 2 million of northern Uganda's mostly Acholi people from their land and homes into squalid concentration camps – an ethnic-cleansing policy that lead to thousands of deaths of mostly children from poor sanitation, disease, starvation, and brutality at the hands of government troops.

3. Contributing to the ongoing conflicts in neighboring countries such as the Democratic Republic of Congo which earned Museveni and the Ugandan government an indictment and guilty verdict at the International Court of Justice for, among other things: "acts of killing, torture and other forms of inhumane treatment of the Congolese civilian population, destroying villages and civilian buildings, failing to distinguish between civilian and military targets, failing to protect the civilian population in fighting with other combatants, training child soldiers, inciting ethnic conflict and failing to take measures to put an end to such conflict."

We don't learn any of this by watching KONY 2012. The tragic and more complicated reality is that Joseph Kony is just one of a number of brutal tyrants in the region who need to be brought to justice. By following Invisible Children's overly simplistic and thoroughly Americentric one-track solution of supporting Museveni and the thugs in his army with American advisors, military equipment & technology, as well as millions in tax-payer dollars, we might find down the road that this is yet another case where the cure is much worse than the disease."

encouragement...discouragement...

Children in Sierra Leone

What a beautiful weekend!  I spent Friday evening, and most of the day on Saturday at the Vineyard for the More4Orphans summit.  It was so encouraging to hear from people engaged in caring for children around the world, fostering and adopting children, both internationally and domestically.  There were seminars on all sorts of adoptions, which were really helpful (there were about 7 I wanted to attend, but I only had time for 2!).   


(Side note:  A couple great ways to get involved is through child sponsorships, though organizations like Eyes Wide Open, or through donating toward building an orphanage in Sierra Leone through Touch the Nations.)

I then came home to a beautiful sunny afternoon, which I spent out in my yard with my dog.  We (and by “we” I guess I mean just me – Calvin wasn’t really that helpful) cut down some old bushes and cleaned up ornamental grass that’s looking pretty scraggly.  I loved seeing my little spring flowers pushing their way out of the ground – tulips, hyacinths, and daffodils.  I have several little crocuses in bloom.  It makes my heart sing to see these little flowers growing and blooming.   Spring is such a joy. 


On Sunday, I took Calvin over to see my nieces and nephew.  My dad had sent me some more crocus bulbs and some other things home with my brother from their recent visit, so I went to collect those things.  I thought it’d be a good opportunity to have Calvin play with the kids too.  I haven't been sure about how the dog would behave with children; I really want our kids to get along with him and vice-versa.  He’s our first adoption of sorts, and in some ways that process helped provide some of the catalyst to move forward in our child adoption process.  And to my delight, he did great with the kids!   The girls took turns leading him around the yard and playing with him with his squeaky toy, and Ben was ready with his squirt gun in case Calvin misbehaved.  It was lots of fun.  

Later in the afternoon, I went home thought it’d be a good idea to get started on our taxes.  I’ve been hoping for a refund to help us fund our homestudy and early adoption expenses.  Much to my chagrin, it looks like we will owe…and a rather hefty sum.  I was so disheartened, almost to tears.  We have the money in savings to cover the tax bill, but it feels like a huge setback in our fundraising process.   This chunk of money that I wanted to put toward bringing our child home will now be heading to the IRS.  Groan.  


After experiencing the mountain top of the orphan summit, the beautiful weekend weather, and sweet family time, how quickly I crashed down into the valley of despair.  I read this verse this evening, though (Malachi 3:10):  "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it."  That is my prayer...for more blessings than we can store...and for the grace to trust for that kind of provision.   

orphans (random thoughts)

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about children, and orphans specifically.  This adoption process has brought up so many questions and additional areas of concern in my heart for kids in crisis situations.  I have started a journal of letters to and prayers for our child, and I can't help but wonder what circumstances our child is in right now.  What types of suffering has our little one endured already?  I long to see a picture and have a connection of some sort...to be able to send care packages and photos and hear stories from the adoption staff.  I'm itching for more.  

And when thinking about this one child (or maybe 2 children!), it leads me to the millions of other children who are orphans, or have parents but are suffering in poverty or under oppressive military rebels such as Joseph Kony.  The problems are heartbreaking and overwhelming!  How can I possibly make a difference, in the face so much suffering?

I've been also reading the Hunger Games series and The Connected Child this week, and all of those books have caused me considerable angst regarding abuse and injustice toward children.  My heart is full and aching.  

This video has gone viral, according to whatever morning news program I watched this morning.  It is from the Invisible Children folks for Kony 2012:  

Our church has been planning a conference on orphan care as well.  The more4orphans summit will take place this weekend (March 9-10) at Vineyard Columbus, and will cover many topics related to foster care, adoption, child sponsorship, as well as how we as individuals can get involved in helping orphans and children worldwide, right here and right now.  I'm really excited and hope many show up!  (here's the brochure for more info, too!)

Between things like Kony 2012 project and the orphan summit, I hope we can all find ways to get involved and make a difference for children in this world.

2 miles in the rain

Our homestudy application is now submitted!  One more step!

The agency we're working with for our homestudy is downtown, about a mile from my office.  I thought I'd take my lunch break and just walk our paperwork and payment over to the agency, thinking it would help keep the ball rolling to take it in today in person, rather than waiting to mail it.  By the time I'm out the front door of my building, the heavens have opened.  Before long, I'm pretty well soaked from the waist down (thankfully I did grab my umbrella before I went out!).  I walked along, grousing in my mind about the wet and cold...I even say a prayer, asking God to hold back the rain for about a half hour until I can get this done.

Kroo Bay in the rain

But then I start thinking about old songs, like ones that talk about a guy walking 500 miles to be with the one he loves.  And then I remember what it's like in Kroo Bay when the rains come, and the children whose homes are flooded by rainwater and sewage, and I wonder if our child is warm and dry today...and then I'm reminded of the road of suffering that Jesus walked for us...  and suddenly 2 miles in the rain is no hardship at all.

paperwork (and a bit of a rant...)

we're starting to fill out paperwork and more paperwork...  i feel like we're being examined under a microscope.  they want to know everything about us so they can deem us worthy (or unworthy) as parents.  i understand the need to check people out - we've all heard the horror stories of children being kept in cages or left in closets to die...  there was even a story in the news today about a horrible situation with an adoptive father.  these are terrible, heartbreaking stories, but in my opinion those situations are the exceptions, not the norm.  where are the good stories of loving foster/adoptive parents?  those kinds of stories don't often make the news, and i feel like there are probably many of these good stories to far outweigh the bad.  the "bad" foster/adoptive parents clearly passed some kind of background checking in order to achieve custody of those children, and they still did horrible things to them. birth parents behave badly toward their kids sometimes too, and they only seem to be scrutinized after the abuse is noticed.


and when bad things happen, often legislatures do an "overreach" -- they react (overreact?) and make more and more stringent regulations, making it more difficult and expensive and complicated for ordinary, well intentioned of people to become foster or adoptive parents.

it's frustrating to feel scrutinized and dissected because of other people's bad choices and abuses.   but i guess we go through it, and hopefully joyfully, keeping our focus on the child(ren) that we hope to bring home as a result of all this.

So it begins...

On Wednesday February 22, 2012, Keith and I sent an adoption application!  We are hoping to adopt a child (or perhaps two children) from Africa.  We are so excited, scared, overwhelmed, and overjoyed to be on this journey!  We would invite you to follow along as we go down this road!

spring is coming... (post from my other blog)

We had a ladies retreat with our small group bible study women last weekend. What a wonderful time of resting, relaxing with some margaritas and the hot tub, hiking, painting toe nails, and just getting to know my women friends better. It was beautiful.

One of the ladies led us in some time of reflection on Saturday morning. She showed us a series of photos of various stages of grape vine/vineyard growth -- some were new sprouts, some were snow covered and scraggly, others were in full bloom and bearing fruit... Part of the exercise was to think about what season you were in - are you in the winter gloom or the full bloom of spring or the harvest season? 

I spent some time thinking about this, and the more I thought, the more it seemed like I was in February.  In my opinion, February is usually the most lousy month of winter - dark, gloomy, snowy, cold... it's the darkest hour before the dawn of spring. I feel like I've been in a gloomy winter place for quite a while, with the pain of chronic health conditions and infertility, without much hope of spring.

Recently, a good friend of our church was violently shot in Haiti. And that really caused me some pause. We prayed fervently for his healing, and yet he died. But through it all, we watched his wife worship and praise God...pouring out her heart to her Daddy-God. and we watched God provide financially -- the website set up to fund raise for his medical expenses raised tens of thousands of dollars in a few short days. God was there.  

Through this tragedy, hope began to sprout in my heart. Our friend died, but God's presence was in the midst of it all. God can provide in amazing ways - he can provide a family for us. 

I can't explain it all fully--it is all very much a mystery --but somehow a death brought me hope.

Yesterday, I noticed that I have one small yellow crocus blooming in my garden. The first flowers of spring! Spring is such a gift to me -- I hate the cold and lifelessness of winter and am ever more in love with the glory of spring...each year spring is more beautiful and wonderful to me. Especially this year, in our new home and my little garden...and the sprouts of hope in my heart.

We sent in an application to an adoption agency this week. We are hoping to adopt from Africa this year and are praying that those sprouts of hope will blossom and bring children into our home and family.