"Bringer of Joy"

Keith says that he loves having a kid that laughs so hard she cries at least once a day.  The name "Béatrice" means "bringer of joy," and I can honestly say that she's brought so much joy into our little family.

She's been with us for about 5 months now.  It feels like she's been a part of us forever.  She has bonded so closely, not only with Keith and me, but also with her grandparents and other extended family.  She prays every night for them all by name and thanks God for them.

I haven't blogged much in the past few months because I haven't really been sure what to say. It is so hard for me to express all that I want to share about Beya in a blog post.

Our lives are full and busy and we love our girl.

posing for the camera 

Beya with Grandma Mimi & Keith's Aunt Dorothy

Daddy's girl

Owls...

making silly faces

she even loves the doggies :-)

Kinshasa

On August 1st, we met our girl for the first time face to face. Our internet connection Kinshasa wasn't the best, so I didn't even try to update the blog from there.  We've been home for a couple weeks now, so I'll just try to hit the high points in our adventure.  

When we arrived, we expected to have Beya's visa from the US embassy in hand, however there had been a mistake and one of the documents we needed had not been completed.  We were in country nearly 2 weeks before her visa was issued.  At that point we applied for an exit letter from the Congolese government -- without this letter we would not be able to leave the country.  Most families took nearly 3 weeks to get their exit letters, so we were concerned that we'd have to be in Kinshasa for about 5 weeks total.  

Our days were pretty similar -- I have likened our time there to the movie Groundhog Day, where Bill Murray's character re-lives the same day over and over again.  We spent most of our time at St. Anne's, a Catholic guesthouse.  There were several other adoptive families there, so we all spent our days just hanging out around the place.  

The whole time I was there, I was anxious to get home.  Nothing about our time there was "normal" or like our lives in the USA would be.  I didn't want Beya to get used to that environment and be disappointed when we finally went home.  About 2 weeks into our stay, though, she told one of the staff that she was ready to go to America, but we stay and stay and stay...  I think she realized that we weren't in a "normal" situation.  

By week 3, we were all a little on edge. We'd changed our flights once and at that point we were ready to send Keith home.  I was bracing myself for 2 more weeks in Kinshasa by myself with Beya.  I was exhausted and not feeling well (probably due to side effects from the anti-malaria medication I was taking) and our money was running low.  Beya was so attached to Keith, too, and it would have been really hard on her for him to leave her at this point.  

But miracle of miracles, our exit letter was issued in time for all 3 of us to be on the flight home.  I know we had many people praying for us, and we are so thankful for the answers!  

even in the small things...

For anyone who knows me, even a little bit, knows that I love my dogs.  They've been my “kids” the past couple of years, and they bring me so much joy.  They were quite the upgrade from my numerous house plants!

When we started this adoption process, I began to really pray that everything would be ok with the dogs and whatever child(ren) we would bring into our home.  I know other families who brought their kids home from overseas and the kids were terrified of dogs.

We included pictures of Calvin in the first photo book we sent to Beya.  We made sure we mentioned that he was a “nice dog.”  Our first Skype date with Beya, she wanted to kiss the doggies on the computer screen when we introduced her to “CAL-vin” and “MAY-zee.”  I thought that was a good sign.

I've also been worried about what we’d do with them when we travel.  Keith works from home quite a bit and so they aren't used to being alone for more than a few hours a day.  We've usually been able to rely on my sister, but this summer she has a round-the-clock home healthcare client that she’s caring for, so she’s really not free to come stay at our place and babysit our crazy canines.

I hate to kennel them – we jokingly call it “puppy prison.”  But we found a place that was a reasonable price and that they’d let both the dogs stay in one pen.  It wasn't ideal, but it would work.

Then, Keith sent me a text yesterday saying that his step-mom offered to stay at our house with the dogs while we’re in the Congo.  I couldn't have imagined a better scenario for taking care of our puppies while we’re away.  Rosanne loves our doggies and they love her.

As I’m typing this, it seems like a sort of silly little thing to devote an entire blog post to, but I couldn't help but feel God’s care and provision for us even in these small details.  My heart is grateful.

Calvin at our open house fundraiser in December -- he got all dressed up

final push!

We're making one final fundraising push over the next couple of weeks to help offset our travel expenses!

Here are a few opportunities if you're interested!

1.  Family photo session with our amazing photographer friend Rachel Joy.  She's offered two photo sessions to two lucky families who donate to our adoption fund.  These sessions are a $200 value!  If you're interested, check out her facebook page and leave me a comment (or message me), and I can answer any questions you may have.

2.  We're selling some stuff!

Antique tool chest from mid 1800's -- advertised at $350

Union Caboose No. 29 stove - advertised at $1500 (or best offer!)

Pier 1 desk -- advertised at $150

table w/ 4 chairs -- advertised at $150

chairs that go with the table!

Butler's Pantry Lenox China -- 12 place settings and various platters, bowls, etc.  Also available, 11 Mikasa crystal water goblets -- over $1000 worth of fine dinnerware!  Give us your best offer!  

3.  The "donate" button on this blog is open for payments for purchases and general donations!  every dollar helps!!

If you or anyone you know might be interested in any of these things, please feel free to pass this along.  Leave me a comment or message me if you have questions or want more information on any of these things.

Thanks everyone!!

We're coming, baby!

We have confirmation from our agency that we can be in the Congo by August 1st! We finally passed through the investigation hurdle, and should have Beya's visa from the US Embassy by the last part of July.  All we'll need once we get there is an exit letter from the DRC, allowing us to leave the country with our girl.

I can't begin to describe the roller-coaster of emotions over the past couple of weeks.  It is such a crazy feeling that we're really on our way soon!

thoughts on mothers day...

For the past several years, Mother's Day has been a really hard day.  I love celebrating my mom, because she's pretty wonderful, but the ache in my own heart to be a mom has been really rough at times.

A couple years ago, I was visiting my folks for Mother's Day weekend.  At their church, they give out small gifts to all the moms at the service each year, and that year it was a flower of some kind.  As I was leaving the service, my heart was heavy.  I'm not sure what prompted this, but one of my mom's friends handed me her flower on the way out and told me that I had a mother's heart.  I fought back the tears as I kissed her cheek.

My heart is about to burst this year.  Our daughter has our last name.  Our I-600 application has been provisionally approved by US immigration.  We're getting closer, but it still feels so far away (and still could take many months to to get her home).  I'm between super excited and terribly depressed at any given moment. I want my girl.  I want her to have her mama.

These "kids" will have to do for now... :-)

And this mother's day, I'm thankful for an extra measure of grace.  The ache in my heart is somehow less in celebrating this holiday -- our daughter may not be home with us yet, but I really feel like I am her mom.  Praying we're together soon.

Mama, bonjour! (2 days in a row!)

We had our first Skype date with our Beya on Saturday morning.  It was scheduled for 10am, but they called at 9:40.  Keith was in the basement, and I was scrambling to figure out how to answer the call on his mac.

Finally we got it together.  One of the Congolese attorneys was with her to translate.  We didn't have a great video connection, but we could see her beautiful smile and the pretty braids in her hair.

The first words she said to me were Mama, bonjour!  I melted!  "Mama!" -- the best word I think I've ever heard!  She was speaking a mix of French, Tschiluba, and probably Lingala, so we were really thankful for the translator.

We talked about the foods she likes and showed her the room we're preparing for her.  We showed her one of her dolls, and she giggled and asked when she could have it?

The best part was when she told us she loved us and that she wanted to come home NOW.  Not tomorrow, but NOW, NOW, NOW.  She crossed her arms over her chest and her brow wrinkled up in a little angry scowl. I want you now, too, baby.

Throughout the conversation, she was really interested in what papa was doing -- I told her I loved her, and without missing a beat, she asked, "what about papa??" She really liked papa's hat and that he plays the guitar (he played a little for her, too).

Toward the end of our time, when we were saying our goodbyes, we lost the video feed.  She told us not to cry...that she'd be angry with us if we cried.  I love this girl so much.

Then, this afternoon, our Skype was ringing again!  2 calls in 2 days seemed too good to be true!  There was no video this time, but that sweet voice saying bonjour, mama & papa was musical.  She's BIEN!   It has been a good weekend.

spring is coming?

I wrote a post about a year ago about feeling like “spring” was on the way.  Not just spring in the sense of the season, but spring in my heart.


My heart has been heavy, "wintry" if you will, for quite a while.  Many of you know my struggle with endometriosis and the physical and emotional pain that has caused.  I've dealt with this since my adolescence, over 20 years now.

I've never had huge career aspirations.  Sometimes I’ll half-jokingly say that I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  I've always known one thing, though:  I want to be a mom.  If I have a job that I can tolerate that pays the bills, I feel ok about that.   But children have been one of my deepest desires for as long as I can remember.  

When I married Keith in 2003 (10 years ago!), we talked about how having kids might be a problem, because of my health concerns.  I never really believed that, 10 years later, I would be carrying around the pain and burden of the horrible word “infertile.”  For many years, we said we were ok with whatever happened.  “Trying” to get pregnant was too strong a statement – we were “not preventing” and seeing what happens.  And nothing happened...and that was harder than I thought it would be.

We always wanted to adopt, too.  Adoption isn't really “plan B” for us.  I’m so thrilled to be adopting Beya.  I can’t even tell you how much this adoption process is an amazing dream come true.  But somehow…and I can’t really explain it…the waiting and the challenges of the adoption process has done something to exacerbate the “barrenness” in me.  The pain of infertility has not magically disappeared because we have a girl on the way…if anything it seems worse these days.

The court documents we received from the DRC recently stated that “the best place for the child’s blooming is in a family.”   I can’t wait for the blooming of spring in my heart and in our family.

Come home soon, Beya.

one step closer!

Well, friends, we finally received our documents from the court! It's official -- our case was approved!   It is so fun to finally be able to post pictures of OUR girl!

We're working on the next batch of paperwork to file with US Immigration.  This next part of the process could take 3 to 9 months or so...  I'm really hoping it's the sooner rather than later part of that time frame!

This waiting business sure ain't gettin' any easier!

Meet our girl

in a holding pattern...

Well, friends, it is our understanding we had a court hearing at the end of February and that our case was approved.  We're still waiting on the paperwork from that hearing before we can file our next round of documents with US immigration.

So, not much to report at this point!  We're hoping the paperwork comes through soon, though, so we can get the ball rolling on the next stage in this process.  I'm a little worried about continued delays -- and just anxious to get our girl home!

and the blessings rain down...

Some of my sweet friends threw a party for me & B last weekend.  We registered on Amazon for a few things we thought might be nice to have before we bring B home -- it's kind of hard to plan when we don't have a definitive timeline! Everyone was really thoughtful in their gift choices, though.  We got a wide variety of sizes of clothes, some great books, art supplies, hair products, and even a tiara!  It was a sweet time - I felt really blessed by the love and gifts!

It was also the morning of the shower that we received the latest batch of pictures -- the pink sparkly dress ones, along with B's current height and weight.  That was maybe the best gift of all.  

Princess for a day! 

  

wonderful gifts

next steps...

We’re waiting for our court hearing!  Hopefully soon!

I’ve been thinking a lot about timelines, and trying to get my head around a possible schedule.  People keep asking me when we will get her, and I just say that we’re not sure.  It’s difficult at best to estimate the timeline, but here’s what we’re looking at right now:

• After we pass court, there is a 30 day waiting period before B will finally be “ours!” 
• Then we file our I-600 form:  “Petition to Classify Orphan as an Immediate Relative.”  This approval process takes 3-4 weeks
• Passports/visas and final steps through the US Embassy – 6-8 weeks

So, if we pass court by the end of February, the 30 day wait will be up by the end of March.  Then another 2.5-3 months for the processing of the rest of our paperwork (mid-June/July).  I’m not sure at this point how the new investigation procedures will affect our case – they had said there were potential delays of 3-6 months…which could put us into September and beyond…

I’ve already bought B a couple little bathing suits and some summer clothes.  I’m really hoping we can get her here when it is still warm!

new photos!

I really wish I could share this recent round of pictures with everyone!  B is wearing a pink sparkly dress and I just can't hardly stand it.    Here are a couple glimpses.  The best one is a "thumbs up" from her. It's like she's saying, "Hey, mom & dad -- I'm ok."  I'm grateful for each little piece we get of her right now.   Hoping for a court hearing soon -- I'll be able to share more then!  

One Year

I have a counter on this blog that has been counting the days since we first began this crazy adoption process.  One year ago today, we sent in our first paperwork and our journey began!

It's hard to believe all that this past year has entailed -- working through our homestudy, accepting a referral for B, putting together our dossier, and not to mention all the money that seemingly miraculously appeared just at the right times to pay for things.

I'm really looking forward to this home stretch -- we're doing some of the "fun" things right now, like painting and preparing B's room!  I'm sewing dresses and a quilt and just can't wait until our girl is in our home rather than just in our hearts!

court delayed...

Just a quick note -- no court hearing this week, unfortunately.  Our attorney has to travel back to B's hometown for court, and hopes to do this next week or the week after.

So, not this week, but hopefully soon!!  :-)

I needed some good news today

Well, friends, as you may imagine, I've been feeling sort of "blah" lately...one might even call it mildly depressed.  The new investigation procedures and potential delays, and weirdly enough, the new photos of B, have had me in a sad state of affairs emotionally.  She just looks so wonderful in the new pictures, my heart aches to hold her!  and I can hardly stand the thought of additional delays in this already far-too-lengthy process!

So, I've been sewing her a dress, but then I get discouraged and stop.  I start thinking things like, is she going to be too big to wear this by the time we get her?  is this even the right size for her right now?  ugh.  This simple little dress is taking me a really long time to finish!

We had a note from our agency this morning that they are hoping to have her birth certificate this week, and our court hearing next week!  This is big positive news!  After we pass court, she's technically "ours" -- our last name will be on her new birth certificate and everything.  And I think we can post photos of her at that point, too.

Our attorney in the DRC is going to a meeting at the Embassy tomorrow, and will hopefully know more about how the new procedures will affect us at that point.  We're hoping and praying it doesn't delay us too terribly much!  Come home soon, B!  We miss you!!

delays and such

We received an email from our agency on Friday, saying that the US embassy has instituted new investigation procedures in all adoptions in the DRC.  Investigators will be looking more thoroughly into the “orphan” status of each child, which could require travel into some of the less stable/ difficult to reach areas.  Bottom line, this could delay adoption processes by 3-6 months.   I've been really bummed by this news!  We were really hoping to be able to travel this spring/early summer, but if things are delayed it could be as long as a whole year from now before we can go.  

About a week ago, they sent us new pictures of our B.  She’s smiling in some of them and looks so healthy…and looks like she’s grown since our September pictures.  I have her framed on my desk, and my heart aches to see that sweet face in person!  I hate the thought of her growing up even more before we can hold her.  

Most of our part is finished at this point – we will have a few more documents to submit down the road, but we’re just waiting.  This is the hardest part, I think.  When we were working on our homestudy and dossier, we were working toward something…now it is in the hands of the courts and immigration offices…

B's toes

In John 14:18, Jesus tells his disciples:  “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”   I know He loves our girl so much more than we do, and I pray every day that He will be close to her and take care of her…