paperwork (and a bit of a rant...)

we're starting to fill out paperwork and more paperwork...  i feel like we're being examined under a microscope.  they want to know everything about us so they can deem us worthy (or unworthy) as parents.  i understand the need to check people out - we've all heard the horror stories of children being kept in cages or left in closets to die...  there was even a story in the news today about a horrible situation with an adoptive father.  these are terrible, heartbreaking stories, but in my opinion those situations are the exceptions, not the norm.  where are the good stories of loving foster/adoptive parents?  those kinds of stories don't often make the news, and i feel like there are probably many of these good stories to far outweigh the bad.  the "bad" foster/adoptive parents clearly passed some kind of background checking in order to achieve custody of those children, and they still did horrible things to them. birth parents behave badly toward their kids sometimes too, and they only seem to be scrutinized after the abuse is noticed.


and when bad things happen, often legislatures do an "overreach" -- they react (overreact?) and make more and more stringent regulations, making it more difficult and expensive and complicated for ordinary, well intentioned of people to become foster or adoptive parents.

it's frustrating to feel scrutinized and dissected because of other people's bad choices and abuses.   but i guess we go through it, and hopefully joyfully, keeping our focus on the child(ren) that we hope to bring home as a result of all this.

So it begins...

On Wednesday February 22, 2012, Keith and I sent an adoption application!  We are hoping to adopt a child (or perhaps two children) from Africa.  We are so excited, scared, overwhelmed, and overjoyed to be on this journey!  We would invite you to follow along as we go down this road!

spring is coming... (post from my other blog)

We had a ladies retreat with our small group bible study women last weekend. What a wonderful time of resting, relaxing with some margaritas and the hot tub, hiking, painting toe nails, and just getting to know my women friends better. It was beautiful.

One of the ladies led us in some time of reflection on Saturday morning. She showed us a series of photos of various stages of grape vine/vineyard growth -- some were new sprouts, some were snow covered and scraggly, others were in full bloom and bearing fruit... Part of the exercise was to think about what season you were in - are you in the winter gloom or the full bloom of spring or the harvest season? 

I spent some time thinking about this, and the more I thought, the more it seemed like I was in February.  In my opinion, February is usually the most lousy month of winter - dark, gloomy, snowy, cold... it's the darkest hour before the dawn of spring. I feel like I've been in a gloomy winter place for quite a while, with the pain of chronic health conditions and infertility, without much hope of spring.

Recently, a good friend of our church was violently shot in Haiti. And that really caused me some pause. We prayed fervently for his healing, and yet he died. But through it all, we watched his wife worship and praise God...pouring out her heart to her Daddy-God. and we watched God provide financially -- the website set up to fund raise for his medical expenses raised tens of thousands of dollars in a few short days. God was there.  

Through this tragedy, hope began to sprout in my heart. Our friend died, but God's presence was in the midst of it all. God can provide in amazing ways - he can provide a family for us. 

I can't explain it all fully--it is all very much a mystery --but somehow a death brought me hope.

Yesterday, I noticed that I have one small yellow crocus blooming in my garden. The first flowers of spring! Spring is such a gift to me -- I hate the cold and lifelessness of winter and am ever more in love with the glory of spring...each year spring is more beautiful and wonderful to me. Especially this year, in our new home and my little garden...and the sprouts of hope in my heart.

We sent in an application to an adoption agency this week. We are hoping to adopt from Africa this year and are praying that those sprouts of hope will blossom and bring children into our home and family.